I was sitting on the couch with Jason this morning when I realized we have exactly one month until we go back to work. I figured this was the perfect time to reflect and to share this post with you all that I've had in my "drafts" for quite a while now.
I absolutely love teaching children with various special needs. I have fallen in love over and over with these children and see so much of God's love for me through these kiddos. I've learned so much about patience, perseverance, and perspective. If you asked me once about this previous school year, then you more than likely heard me say how much I still love my job, how great my school is, how awesome our staff is, how much I love my kids, a few funny stories from the classroom, but then I'm sure you heard me say that I had one student that was quite the challenge. This student stretched me to my limits more times than I would like to remember! I am not going in to any detail about what made this student a challenge because what I want to share is what God taught me through it all.
As school was coming to a close, my mom sent me a text one morning and said, "You've almost made it. When it is over, sometime you need to sit down and write about what all The Lord has taught you from giving you (this student) this year. It was with a purpose for sure. (One of the many reasons I love my mother--she is always encouraging me to see The Lord's hand in all situations)
And she was so right. I knew all along that I had this student for a reason and I even kept telling myself that when the days were really tough. I knew that it was God stretching me, teaching me, making me lean fully on Him. I knew it, I just hadn't thought about taking the time to sit and reflect on it all. I don't want to put this past year in the books as "the hardest one yet" and just be thankful it's over. I want to remember, receive, share thankfulness, and praise The One who gave it all to me.
With all of that being said, this is what I learned.
Patience. Patience, patience, patience. I can't say it enough! If I thought I had it before, I am can reassure you that God taught it to me even more so after those 180 days.
Perseverance. Keep on, keeping on. We would come up with a new idea on how to best manage certain behaviors and it would work...for about 3 days. On to the next one. Then the next one. And then the next. It was a never ending cycle of using resources, using the student's interest, getting faculty on board, and showing that I don't have all the answers! It was quite the humbling experience.
God will provide. As I said, we came to dead end, after dead end when it came to her behaviors and ways to manage them. But, the "idea well" never seemed to run dry. Anytime I would ask for help there was someone there with a new idea, a new something or another that may interest her, even something as small as offering to let her come to them for a few minutes. The outreach and help was overwhelming. I can't say enough how thankful I am to work in a school where people bend over backwards to lend a helping hand.
Preparation. I know that God used this year to prepare me for the coming years--to where maybe they won't see quite as tough.
That I was going to truly love this child. As the year progressed (as did the behaviors) I realized that I needed to stop looking for ways to fix them (or ways to keep her out of trouble) and take some time to intentionally sit and get to know her. My goal was to see her like Jesus sees her and to love her like Jesus loves her. I started to take anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour each morning to sit with her and let her show me the homework she had done, help her with her morning work, let her read one of my "special books", talk about what she did over the weekend, let her tell me stories, let her sing to me, etc. I began to take genuine interest in her. I invested in her. I gave her the time of day...and she knew it. She respected that. She loved that. She craved that. I could see a visible difference in her after I started taking that time out to try and see her the way Jesus sees her. It helped me so much. I felt my heart truly softening towards her and beginning to really love her and that made all the difference.
I am right where I need to be. Regardless of how many times this child had me to my breaking point, my heart gravitated towards her even more so. When you read in Isaiah 64:8, "But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay and you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand" I can't help but know that God molded me for this. He made my heart for this very reason, for this very child, for schools years just like this. He knows us so much better than we will ever know ourselves and that's such a comfort to me.
I am so happy to love & serve a God who knows me better than I will ever know myself. A God who knows the true desires of my heart. A God who uses my life to teach me more about myself. A God who loves us unconditionally, even when we act so ungrateful. A God who has patience with us, who perseveres for us, who provides for us, who prepares us, who truly loves us, and who puts us exactly where He wants us to be.
There is no sweeter place to be than in the will of The One who loves us the most.
There's this song. It's actually where the title of this post came from. It's by Tenth Avenue North and it's called "The Struggle" and I want to share just a few lines from it:
"So why Lord, do I still fall,
Do I wear thin?
Why do I still give in to temptation?
On my own, I am bankrupt,
I don't trust You or take You at Your word
What you've promised
Hallelujah
We are free to struggle
We're not struggling to be free
Your blood bought and makes us children
Children, drop your chains and sing"
I absolutely love teaching children with various special needs. I have fallen in love over and over with these children and see so much of God's love for me through these kiddos. I've learned so much about patience, perseverance, and perspective. If you asked me once about this previous school year, then you more than likely heard me say how much I still love my job, how great my school is, how awesome our staff is, how much I love my kids, a few funny stories from the classroom, but then I'm sure you heard me say that I had one student that was quite the challenge. This student stretched me to my limits more times than I would like to remember! I am not going in to any detail about what made this student a challenge because what I want to share is what God taught me through it all.
As school was coming to a close, my mom sent me a text one morning and said, "You've almost made it. When it is over, sometime you need to sit down and write about what all The Lord has taught you from giving you (this student) this year. It was with a purpose for sure. (One of the many reasons I love my mother--she is always encouraging me to see The Lord's hand in all situations)
And she was so right. I knew all along that I had this student for a reason and I even kept telling myself that when the days were really tough. I knew that it was God stretching me, teaching me, making me lean fully on Him. I knew it, I just hadn't thought about taking the time to sit and reflect on it all. I don't want to put this past year in the books as "the hardest one yet" and just be thankful it's over. I want to remember, receive, share thankfulness, and praise The One who gave it all to me.
With all of that being said, this is what I learned.
Patience. Patience, patience, patience. I can't say it enough! If I thought I had it before, I am can reassure you that God taught it to me even more so after those 180 days.
Perseverance. Keep on, keeping on. We would come up with a new idea on how to best manage certain behaviors and it would work...for about 3 days. On to the next one. Then the next one. And then the next. It was a never ending cycle of using resources, using the student's interest, getting faculty on board, and showing that I don't have all the answers! It was quite the humbling experience.
God will provide. As I said, we came to dead end, after dead end when it came to her behaviors and ways to manage them. But, the "idea well" never seemed to run dry. Anytime I would ask for help there was someone there with a new idea, a new something or another that may interest her, even something as small as offering to let her come to them for a few minutes. The outreach and help was overwhelming. I can't say enough how thankful I am to work in a school where people bend over backwards to lend a helping hand.
Preparation. I know that God used this year to prepare me for the coming years--to where maybe they won't see quite as tough.
That I was going to truly love this child. As the year progressed (as did the behaviors) I realized that I needed to stop looking for ways to fix them (or ways to keep her out of trouble) and take some time to intentionally sit and get to know her. My goal was to see her like Jesus sees her and to love her like Jesus loves her. I started to take anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour each morning to sit with her and let her show me the homework she had done, help her with her morning work, let her read one of my "special books", talk about what she did over the weekend, let her tell me stories, let her sing to me, etc. I began to take genuine interest in her. I invested in her. I gave her the time of day...and she knew it. She respected that. She loved that. She craved that. I could see a visible difference in her after I started taking that time out to try and see her the way Jesus sees her. It helped me so much. I felt my heart truly softening towards her and beginning to really love her and that made all the difference.
I am right where I need to be. Regardless of how many times this child had me to my breaking point, my heart gravitated towards her even more so. When you read in Isaiah 64:8, "But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay and you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand" I can't help but know that God molded me for this. He made my heart for this very reason, for this very child, for schools years just like this. He knows us so much better than we will ever know ourselves and that's such a comfort to me.
I am so happy to love & serve a God who knows me better than I will ever know myself. A God who knows the true desires of my heart. A God who uses my life to teach me more about myself. A God who loves us unconditionally, even when we act so ungrateful. A God who has patience with us, who perseveres for us, who provides for us, who prepares us, who truly loves us, and who puts us exactly where He wants us to be.
There is no sweeter place to be than in the will of The One who loves us the most.
There's this song. It's actually where the title of this post came from. It's by Tenth Avenue North and it's called "The Struggle" and I want to share just a few lines from it:
"So why Lord, do I still fall,
Do I wear thin?
Why do I still give in to temptation?
On my own, I am bankrupt,
I don't trust You or take You at Your word
What you've promised
Hallelujah
We are free to struggle
We're not struggling to be free
Your blood bought and makes us children
Children, drop your chains and sing"
No comments:
Post a Comment